The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
