you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
