Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
