i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
