So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
