theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
