You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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