I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this will be a night to untag.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
