well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
