nut hugger
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
