you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
