I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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