The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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