its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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