I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
