Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
