Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
