i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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