is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
