Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
