I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize