its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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