just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
