so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
No subtext here. People are naked.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
