the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
