is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
