So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
