Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
