forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize