Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
