careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
