they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
