I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
