And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
