wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
