Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
this hospital has no fireball
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
