sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
