I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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