i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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