Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
