I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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