I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
