A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize