it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
