That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
