Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
