don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize