whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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