how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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