That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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