Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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