there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
