Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
