his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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