I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
