If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
