come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
