He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize