Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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