Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
