then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
