Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
