the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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