It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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