when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize