hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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